Somebody out there is going to say:“I thought you were gong to write about moving and this may be the weirdest piece of your writing I have ever read. What’s all this talk about crabs?” “Well, bear with me and see how I hope this comes out.”
Crabs, Huh?
I have discovered that sand crabs move from shell to shell. But first they do what is called molting and then they grow a shell which acts as a protective cover. As the crab continues to grow the molting process begins again, and slowly it will leave the old shell.This is a vulnerable time because w fish could attack and destroy a naked crab. Eventually the molting process begins again, and the crab forms a larger shell. Then when it is too large for the new shell, the process of shedding begins again and the crab finds a new home.
For us surrounded by boxes, trying to keep and give away, dealing with the lump in your throat, hoping you have made the right decision to move on knowing you have to stop and deal with your kids, saying goodbye to some of the closest friends . You put all your peculiar treasures in a moving van, look back at an empty, empty house—and the memories swirl. So many fine things happened in this house you are leaving.
And so you move to what will be a vulnerable time. Will your family say goodbye to the old and welcome the new? And what about you and your wife or husband or partner. Truth be told you have outgrown that house and that place. Like the crab you have moved beyond where you were. And it is time to leave.
Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye is a hard thing, And there is a grief that we take with us to this new place that we cannot deny. Hopefully our molting will begin again and in time a larger shell or place or position. And home will take on a new look and a new growing.
But it isn’t just putting your belongings on a van and moving to another place. It’s outgrowing where you are forced to deal with with life’s changes.
Moving to a new place is only one of a myriad of changes that happen. You lose a loved one, you say goodbye to your child who leaves for college., you might lose a job and with it you lose status. Retirement is a dread for many. Watching slowly your body change or losing something vital. It could be the death of a friend. Or watching too much news and thinking My God, what is happening to this country? Why all this anger and rage? And violence?
It looks like our whole nation has lost something valuable. The old hardened comfortable place is no more. You go back to where you started. The old house looks so small. Downright homely maybe. Or that huge brick building where you went to grade school is not as large as it used to be. And that school auditorium filled with kids, hundreds it seemed. Well, the place looks downright restrictive and maybe seats less than a hundred. You go to your 50th Reunion and look around and ask yourself, “Lord, what happened to them?” Maybe never asking ,”What happened to me?”
Hope
The danger is that you can get stuck in some old shell. It has long since quit making you stretch. It’s safe But you don’t move on. You stay close to the shore where you will never encounter the wonder of blue-green water or the waves and the swimming and fishing.
But the moving van unloads all your stuff. The place is smaller. Strange. No neighbors yet. And you find you don’t need half the stuff you surrounded yourself with. This is the vulnerable time for you. Without the shell of yesterday it is scary. But you put your things in place and begin again. Different. But a good difference. One day you will grow another shell and it will be maybe the most comfortable place you have known. Isn’t that the hope we all have?
--Roger Lovette / rogerlovette.blogspot.com
