It's Ash Wednesday--whatever that means. And it means a great deal for a whole lot of us. For years I found my way to the nearest Episcopal Church, parked my car and open the church doors took a bulletin and slipped into a pew. Sitting not too far back--I wanted to hear. I come to church this day to sit in silence. To look at the gorgeous stained glass windows that, at noon, throw colors over most of us who gather. There are not many there usually. Mostly old folk. More women than men and there will be a young couple and two or three college students. I come to hear the old Joel passage: "Rend your hearts and not your garments."
We are then invited to come forward and have our foreheads marked with the sign of the cross, listening to those gloomy words:"Dust thou art...and to dust thou shall return." After all have come forward we are invited to come to the altar to kneel and receive the Bread and the Cup. Looking up at the Crucifix at the body that was broken and whose blood was poured out for us all. I slip out the door and go to my car. Closing the car door I sit there for just a moment in the quiet.
This year I did not find my way to that church. With this virus raging I am not even sure there was a service. Maybe there was. I still remember those other Ash Wednesdays when I came simply to be reminded of my sins and my finitude. To be reminded that I do not need to rend my garments particularly--but oh, I really do need to rend my heart. This Ash Wednesday when most of us are confined to our homes we still need the power of Ash Wednesday. I think of all that multitude who have left us because of this cursed virus. I think of the rending maybe not our garments but the the terrible divide between neighbors, family members and our whole country. The dust of the so-muchness weighs heavy on us all in 2021. So let us remember it isn't them not needing rending but us all.
It is dark outside and in so many hearts. But I do believe, despite it all that though I am a marked man--literally--that maybe that Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world will take mine too and yours as well. I think about these things on this day when I did not go to church but remember that smudge and it's call to us all.
photo courtesy of Church of the Redeemer / flikr
--Roger Lovette / rogerlovette.blogspot.com
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