Losing One's Faith Has happened to a lot of Preachers

"If you stay with us long enough...we will disappoint you."
       --Words from Pastor as new member joins

There is an old preacher story that made the rounds for a while. A man was being ordained to the ministry. The Sunday of his ordination he knelt at the front of the church as people came by one-by-one and laid hands on him. His little boy, sitting with his mother, asked : Mama, what are they doing to Daddy?” And the Mother said, “They are taking out his spine.”

Ministry in every age is fraught with danger. And there are people in every church that would take part in the removal off their Minister’s spine. It is almost a cottage industry the attacks that come to good people in every profession that are trying to do a good job. 

I have just finished a book called: Losing My Religion.The subtitle is: A Memoir of Faith and Finding. The author William C. Mills Is Rector of the Holy Virgin Orthodox Church  in Charlotte., North Carolina. After finishing college and Seminary he took his first charge in the church where he still serves. Starry-eyed and hopeful he started out to be a good minister. His was a small parish of about a hundred people. He worked hard and helped the church along. And about the sixth year—often it is five years—lightning struck. He found himself at cross-purposes with the “Known spiritual leader” of his congregation. He tried to

reconcile with this long-time members in his own green kind of a way. It didn’t work. When it came time for the budget and a raise for the Pastor this leader and his wife stood and protested the raise and listed charge after charge of the Pastor’s incompetency. His efforts at reconciliation fell flat. And this man and his wife that brought charges left the church and about twenty-five other people followed. 

In a small church this is especially a crisis. Money sagged—those left were out of sorts. Jobs need to be filled. This Minister experienced every minister’s nightmare. One day his house of cards will come tumbling down. They will hate me. Maybe run me of town. I won’t have a job any longer and I will feel like an utter failure. 

If you read this book—it really is a mirror of almost every Pastor’s journey. Some time in ministry there will come someone or a small handful of someones who’ll try to destroy your effectiveness and erode your self-worth. This happened to Rector Mills. His response? Faith slipped through his fingers. He wanted to run away. He did not know if he believed in the Jesus stuff anymore. His self-worth took a beating. His marriage and children suffered. He wanted to do anything but stay there in that half-empty church. 

The book takes the reader through his saga. Fortunately he discovered a Clergy-help Center close by, It was the beginning of his healing. He followed this with several years of counseling. Slowly his faith returned. He stayed in his church. The congregation began to come together and grow. He has learned a lot of lessons about himself and his relationships. Life began to slowly come back. Not church life simply—but real life. We Pastor-types make the mistake of thinking it’s all about church. This becomes the center of our world. Ask many Minister’s wives or husbands. Listen to the children of clergy. Many would not set foot in church—they saws up close what church did for their Mamas or Daddies.

I recommend this book to ministers and lay-people in the church. Many church leaders do not have a clue to some of the pressures their Pastors’ face. The New Testament talks about reconciliation, forgiveness and resurrection. Dr. Mills has found help and healing.

He has come to know that you cannot operate on yourself. All clergy like other professionals needs support and help emotionally. Most of the time that help must come from those outside the church. 

I recommend this book. It should help clergy who serve valiantly in the trenches day after day. This book can help all Pastors remember that the treasure always come in an earthen vessel. Consequently those of us who wear the collar know we make terrible mistakes sometimes. We must share the responsibility of the health and care of the church as well as lay people.There is help and hope for all of us broken people. Mr. Mills has reminded us that we cannot do this alone. We all need help. Many former clergy out there would have written a different story if they had the wise wisdom and help that books like this provide. 

Dr. Mills has done real service for the church. As Frederick Buechner has reminded us in The Sacred Journey when we open up our hearts it gives others permission to do the same. This makes for a healthy church and world.

Dr. William C. Mills is rector of the Nativity of the Holy Virgin Orthodox Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. For further information you might visit his website: www.williamcmills.com

For years I was part of an organization whose purpose was to help troubled ministers. Hundreds of ministers and their families have received the chance to live again thanks to this organization. If you are interested in their work you might contact them. www.mtmfoundation.org

—Roger Lovette / rogerlovette.blogspot.com